“When good people die and are reanimated into soulless brain
eaters, there’s only one man who’s their best friend, and
that’s Tony Mallone.”
You’ve heard of horse whisperers, dog whisperers, and I’m sure even a
few others I haven’t heard of myself. I once even consulted a snake
whisperer, after some unruly behavior from a rather large pet snake I
once owned. Yes, and even I thought that was bizarre—just as you are,
no doubt, thinking the same thing. However, one thing I’m sure you’ve
yet to hear about is a zombie whisperer. Yes, you read that right—a
zombie whisperer! Possibly, in this case, stranger things have indeed not happened before.
Zombie Whisperer is a new reality-TV web series starring
Matt Fowler
as Tony Mallone—the tough but calm, streetwise soother of the restless
undead. Yes, if a brain-eating member of your family ever causes a
problem (as if that wouldn’t happen), there’s no other man for the job.
Making your dangerous dead once again docile and domestic is just a
call away. No zombie is too undead for Tony! I don’t know his number
off hand; I misplaced in somewhere in all the excitement. However, one
thing’s for sure—it’s not a 555 number. Tony Mollone plays his part for
real! I started to call this a mock-reality TV show, but, with all the
zombie sightings lately who knows?
Episode 1 of
Zombie Whisperer begins with a viewer warning:
“Do not attempt the techniques you are about to see without consultin’ a
professional!” (Yes, the “g” in consulting is also ellipted in the
text, exactly as the southern-accented narrator says it.) After the
show’s opening montage, Tony Mallone is introduced as “world-renowned
expert and original creator of PETZ” (People for the Ethical Treatment
of Zombies). Tony then approaches the front door of his next zombie
owner in distress—Tammy (
Lacy Hornick).
Tammy is a giddy, 20ish woman seemingly more enamored with meeting Tony
than she is disturbed by her zombie problem. However, in true
professional form, Tony wants to “get right to it”—right to solving the
zombie problem that is. Bob (Kyle Duncan Graham) is Tammy’s pet zombie
she found digging through her garbage one day, before taking him in as
her pet. Tammy has “a soft spot for zombies.” Bob has since become
“out of control”, causing, you guessed it, the need for Tony Mallone!
“You must become what you hope to control,” says Tony.
Speaking of the “zombie-digging through the garbage” detail, this is
nice touch you may feel as well. Some zombies it seems, except for the
wild ones, have become domesticated like dogs, incapable of living on
their own. Instead of being self-sufficient brain eaters, they forage
for food, also living off the refuse of people rather than the brains of
the people themselves. In the event that some domestic types regress
to their stereotypic habits, again Tony Mallone is only a phone call
away. Tony can, no doubt, tame a completely wild zombie as well. Yes, I
have no doubt.
Although I care little for reality TV, I have a great love for
mock-reality TV! I guess you could say that I really love seeing
something I don’t care much for mocked to the point of being humorous.
At least it then becomes useful for something. The Zombie Whisperer is
just the type of mock-reality TV that I love. Everyone plays the part
as seriously as you’d expect such a thing to be done in real life. Out
of control zombies would have their ironic share of humor anyway—once
the novelty of it all wore off. Yes, I think even household zombie
problems might become old hat and halfway ignored soon enough. “My
zombie’s been acting up. I may need to call a zombie whisperer next
week.” You know how people are. So, as a humorous but true social
statement (yes, there is some intelligent stuff here), Zombie Whisperer
tells its story to make us think, while making us laugh at the same
time. However, since brains are always in short supply around zombies,
you won’t have to think too much.
I’ve seen
Matt Fowler in a number of other roles, and he always makes himself the character he plays 100%. In
Trespasser
(also featured and reviewed on Space Jockey Reviews), Matt plays a
psyco killer with all the eerie lack of emotion you’d expect to see.
Without a word said, he develops a potential “cardboard” presence into a
memorable character, all in under five minutes! In
Zombie Whisperer,
Matt does the same knock out job. As Tony Mallone, and in true
zombie-whispering form, he makes his larger than life character
believable, in an unbelievable situation. Matt plays it straight,
serious, never-cracking a smile, even when lesser zombie whisperers
might fall apart. (Yes, you can tell I’m having fun with this.) Yes,
it takes a certain type of talent to pull off such a part, and Matt
pulls it off without the need for a double tap…or double take, I should
say! (For the meaning of double-tapping, see the “
Galactic Glossary” here on Space Jockey Reviews.)
Lacy Hornick
(as Tammy) gets my award for the short film actress most qualified for a
job on Saturday Night Live. Lacy (who I have not seen previously) is
an actress I’d really like to see again. As I said, she does just the
perfect sort of exaggerated, faux-serious character acting that helps
make this episode of
Zombie Whisperer work so well. Playing
this part too seriously wouldn’t have worked as well, but Lacy nails it,
just as it’s needed. Again, I will look for Lacy in the future; with
such performances, I’m sure she’ll show up often.
What can I say about
Kyle Duncan Graham
as Bob the zombie? Is he just another token, undead corpse in a very
alive web series episode? NO! (Notice that I capitalized the “N” and
the “O” in that answer.”) In a series like
Zombie Whisperer, a
standout performance as a zombie is key. Without a good zombie, such a
show could fall flat. No fear here! Kyle (as Bob) is a zombie to
remember, in as much as zombies can be remembered. His zombie growls
are as authentic as any I’ve heard; when he reaches out for you with
those bloody, undead zombie hands, he means it! Get out of the way, and
cover your skullcap! Yes, it would be easy for zombies to be forgotten
altogether in such reviews; it happens all the time. How often do
zombies get credit where it’s due for their undead talents? Rarely
ever! But here, in this review, Kyle Duncan Graham as Bob gets a
special place to be remembered. After all, zombies were once people
too.
What is the zombie’s problem? How does the amazing Tony Mallone solve
the problem? Does anyone get killed in the process? What is Tony
Mallone’s “groundbreaking technique”? Is Tammy a happy, satisfied
customer in the end, who will recommend Tony to all her friends? What
happens to Bob the zombie? Those are all really good questions; but, if
I answered all of that, you wouldn’t have to watch
Zombie Whisperer,
would you? No, you wouldn’t. And I’d be the last to cause any
zombie-loving watcher of such zombie shows to find cause to skip this
one. So, make sure to catch
Zombie Whisperer on
www.funnyordie.com.
Funny or Die a website that allows viewers to watch a feature show and
then vote it “funny” or “die” (as in, I suppose, dying a very unfunny
death.) I am happy to report that I voted “funny” for The Zombie
Whisperer. After all, I guess it’s only appropriate that a zombie show
doesn’t die. That just wouldn’t be right!
The Zombie Whisperer is a new and (as you can already tell) very original web series. It’s created by
Matt Fowler and
Kelsey Boutte
and also directed by Matt Fowler. Makeup and special effects are also
done by Kelsey Boutte. Without the need to mention it (although I will
anyway), Matt Fowler and Kelsey Boutte have created a series that truly
stands out in the lineup of other shows I’ve seen. It gets my highest
recommendations!
I actually liked Zombie Whisperer so much that I plan to
feature episodes right here on Space Jockey Reviews. New episodes will
be posted when available. However, you’re in luck! The first episode
I’ve reviewed here is posted below! Tony Mallone himself (Matt Fowler,
of course) informed me that the second episode (and possibly the third)
will be filmed in the first week of September and available to the
public by the third week. In the meantime, check out the first episode
below! (Viewer discretion is advised!) Oh, and if you have any zombie control problems, you know who to call—the name is Tony Mallone!
“Zombies in the wild are very dangerous. You have to show him that you’re the leader of the pack.” ~ Tony Mallone
Starring Matt Fowler,
Lacy Hornick, and
Kyle Duncan Graham,
Series Narration by Justin Rupple, Directed by Matt Fowler,
Assistant Director Megan Powers,
Director of Photography Gennaro Desposito,
Editor Gennaro Desposito,
Production Sound Mixer Chris Ehling,
Camera Operators Gennaro Desposito and Megan Powers,
Special Effects by Kelsey Boutte and FXtive Creations,
Produced by Kelsey, Boutte, Gennaro Desposito, and Matt Fowler,
Production Assistants Chris Ehling and
Melissa Newman,
Produced for Apocolypse T.V. by Brooklyn West Productions,
With special thanks to Sal’s Hot Dogs and
Squirrel Wrangling by Kimberly Desposito
